Angel's Mistake
by Randomizer
Summary: It's an OOC Angel-death parody of crappy Spike-bashing stories, and I added chapter 2 because some Angel fans are so fond of the first chapter that they left me several very kind comments. I especially love the e-mail that told me where I should burn.
1. Default Chapter

It had been a long time since Angel had visited Buffy. When  
he heard the ridiculous rumor that Spike had a soul, that  
reminded him of how long it had been. Sick of dealing with his  
whiny son and his feelings for Cordelia, Angel hopped in his  
car and sped off to Sunnydale.   
  
He parked in front of Buffy's house, but no one answered the  
door when he knocked. Angel "accidentally" broke the lock and  
entered to wait. It was a good opportunity to snoop while no  
one was home.  
  
He saw signs of Spike in the living room. A stray black shirt  
and a mug with blood in the bottom of it. He went into the   
kitchen to continue his search. God, he was hungry. Angel peeked   
in the fridge and sure enough, right on the top shelf lay   
plenty of spare blood. Angel decided to help himself to it,   
knowing he deserved it more than Spike anyway.   
  
He grabbed a bag and began to gulp it down ravenously. As it slid  
down his throat, he experienced a strange burning sensation. That  
wasn't right. But he couldn't stop himself from drinking. The bag  
was nearly gone and Angel kept feeling worse and worse. He sank  
to the floor, clutching his stomach. Then he exploded in a big pile  
of dust.  
  
Ten minutes later, Buffy and Spike entered the kitchen to find an  
open refrigerator door, an empty bag of blood, and a scattering of  
dust on the floor.  
  
Spike pointed. "I think that explains why Angel's car is outside  
and he's nowhere to be found. He must have drunk the charmed blood   
laced with holy water that we were going to set out to trap vampires   
tonight."  
  
Buffy shrugged. "Oh, well. That's what he gets for being greedy."  
She locked arms with Spike and they exited the kitchen. 


	2. Dusting II

If you're wondered why I bothered to go on with this thing when I originally planned just the one part, see the reviews I received on January 2 and 3. What can I say? They provided all the encouragement I needed.   
  
  
Set in S7/S4.  
  
  
Chapter 2: Saint Cordelia's Magic Tears   
OR, Angel Gets Dusted Again  
  
  
Over in Los Angeles, Cordelia was watching the late night movie when a shooting pain began to radiate outward from her heart. She sensed without being told that Angel had met a dusty end. Tracing his journey by a mystical bond, Cordelia drove all the way to Sunnydale, up to Buffy's house. Angel's car parked in front was proof she didn't need.   
  
She entered the house and began her hunt. It didn't take long for her to reach the kitchen and see the evidence: an empty blood bag and a pile of dust. Cordelia knew, with that deep connection all soulmates experience, that she had found Angel's remains. She despondently sobbed over the small mound, feeling as if her life would never be complete again.  
  
Then a miraculous event occurred. The fattest and strongest of Cordelia's tears rolled all the way down her face and dropped onto the pile. The dust stirred and then, in a great whirl, came together to form Angel's shape.   
Cordelia wiped her eyes to see the not-really-alive-again/undead figure of her soulmate standing in front of her.  
  
"Cordelia, what are you doing here?" Angel asked, sounding as confused as Cordelia felt. "More to the point, what am I doing here? I was dead. Really dead this time. And now I'm back."  
  
"I was crying and one of my tears fell on your dust," Cordelia explained. "I must have retained some of my Wondrous Powers from my time as a Higher Being and they resurrected you. I guess my Powers don't extend as far as making you human again but just having you back is more than I could have ever dreamed of. I love you so much, Angel!"  
  
"I love you too, Cordelia!" Angel realized he didn't have to concern himself about Buffy anymore, now that he was secure in his love for Cordelia and hers for him. He wasn't perfectly happy because he was still estranged from Connor but he was the next closest thing to it.  
  
"Let's go home," Cordelia suggested.   
  
The two linked hands and made their way out of the kitchen, through the living room and toward the front door. But their happiness was destined to be short lived due to the actions of an old acquaintance.  
  
Xander had done Buffy a favor. He had constructed a wooden end table for her and at that moment, he was carrying it toward her house. Because of its specially sharpened legs, he had told Buffy it would serve not only as only furniture but as a great makeshift weapon in case she ever needed to fight vampires inside her home.  
  
As Xander entered through the front door, Angel started to go out and collided with him. That wouldn't have been so bad except that Xander was carrying the table with the legs pointing ahead of him and the force of the collision drove one pointy chair leg into Angel's chest, straight into his heart. An explosion of dust flew up as Angel expired again.  
  
"What was that?" Xander asked, rubbing dust out of his eyes.  
  
"Angel!" Cordelia sobbed.  
  
"That was Angel?" Xander stared at the scattering of dust on the floor. "Oh, well, I never liked him and he looks better down there anyway. Excuse me." He edged past Cordelia and lugged the table into the living room.  
  
Cordelia quickly squeezed out more tears in an attempt to re-resurrect Angel, but none of them worked. Apparently that trick had been a one time only deal and Angel was now gone for good. Sadly, Cordelia scraped him into a plastic bowl and left the house, broken hearted.  
  
  
end of Chapter 2, probably end of the whole thing though I leave my options open  
  
  
If interested in more character death fic by me, check out "Accidents Will Happen" (Dawn gets crushed by a truck) and "Disaster Strikes" (bye bye, Spike). 


End file.
